The FF7 Crew Vs The Burger King Guy 2: Duo Bout
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: One Shot Complete! The sequel to The FF7 Crew vs The Burger King Guy: Ghost bout. The Burger King mascot teams up with Sephiroth as they try to kill Cloud and the gang! Can they stop this deadly alliance? Rated T for language and violence.


**Story**: The FF7 Crew Vs The Burger King Guy 2: Duo Bout  
**Author**: Master Jin Sonata  
**Written**: January 2008  
**Genre**: Humor  
**Rating**: T (Language and Violence)  
**Authors' Note**: This is the fifth installment of the entire series! After reading this fic, you can find the names of the previous stories at the bottom of the page!  
**Disclaimer**: I do not own Square or the insane Burger King Mascot still stalking them.

* * *

In the previous installment, the presumed dead Burger King Mascot, archenemy of Barret, came back to haunt Barret during a get-together at Cloud's house. In an attempt to rid of him for good, everyone dressed up as Ghostbusters and hunted the Burger King Mascot and trapped him in a containment unit.

Barret's nightmare was thought to be over…but another familiar foe released the Burger King Mascot from his containment cell…and together, they plot revenge against the Final Fantasy 7 cast.

* * *

A week after Cloud's apartment was destroyed during the fight to capture the ghost of the vengeful Burger King Mascot; Cloud's friends went around Midgar trying to find him a new home. 

Eventually, they found a place that Cloud might like…

"**What…**_**is**_** this place?!"** Cloud exclaimed as he and everyone else stood outside of some rundown project apartments.

"**See! I knew cloud would like it!!!"** Yuffie said to everyone with a cheesy smile.

"**No offense, but this place is a dump!"** Cait Sith responded.

"**The little cat's right! This place is trashier than an episode of Jerry Springer!"** Cid added, smoking his cigarette.

Barret stepped forward and turned toward the entire gang.

"**Now wait just a damn minute! This place is better than that gay-ass studio apartment Cloud had before we ruined it. Besides, this run-down joint reminds me of home!"** Barret exclaims.

"**You have no taste in living quarters, you know that?"** Vincent said.

"**Oh right, coming from a guy who spends his days lying in a coffin pretending to be Dracula in some abandoned mansion!"** Cait Sith responded.

"**ENOUGH!"** Yuffie yelled out to everyone, shutting them up quickly**. "C'mon, people, Cloud should be thankful that we're finding him a new home after that Burger King creep ruined everything!"**

"…**I guess the girl has a point…"** Red XIII said.

"**Well…at least we won't have to shell out $200 a month staying at Motel 7…"** Tifa comments.

**"Then it's settled, we move in immediately!!!"** Yuffie says, rushing inside first, with Barret following close behind.

Everyone else looked at each other and sighed before following suit.

Inside the old dilapidated project apartments, the gang slowly makes their way toward Clouds new pad. When the reached the door, it read '666'.

"…**That's rather comforting…"** Vincent said.

"**Nonsense! Let's just take a peek inside, shall we?"** Yuffie said, opening the door.

Once everyone was inside, Cid flicked the light on. Everyone stared wide-eyed as the interior of Cloud's new apartment rivaled that of a rich-man's mansion. The floor was made of marble, exotic plants hung around from the ceiling, and large Jacuzzi sat in the spa area of the apartment.

"**Unbelievable!!!"** Tifa said, in complete shock.

"**Goddamn this place is nice! I might just have to boot Cloud out and stay here myself!"** Cid said with a wide grin.

"**So Cloud, having second thoughts?"** Yuffie asked.

**"Well…I guess it's pretty nice…"** Cloud said, having a change of heart.

"**Sweet! Ooh, and as a bonus, how about all of us stay here with you for the night?"** Yuffie suggested, hopping up and down expecting a 'yes'.

"**Well…I suppose…"** Cloud said.

"**Awesome!!! Last one in the Jacuzzi goes on a date with Palmer!!!"** Yuffie exclaims, zipping off toward the apartment's spa.

Cid looks around to see everyone gone already.

"**Ah shit…"** Cid mumbled under his breath.

And so Cloud and his friends decided to stay together in the unusually lavish apartment for a night. Little did everyone know, two familiar individuals were watching them the whole time…

…and they were ready to strike.

**Later That Night, Barret's Point of View**

While everyone was sleeping soundly all around the apartment, Barret slept alone in a small empty bedroom. Barret was having nightmare flashbacks of the several encounters he had with the crazy Burger King Guy, from the bout in his home, the attack at the Burger King fast food joint, and the showdown at the Burger King Corporation.

"**YAAH!!!"** Barret yelled, waking up from a cold sweat. **"Damn Burger King bastard…good thing he's gone for good…"** Barret grunted as he tried to go back to sleep.

His restful respite was stopped abruptly when he sensed something in the room. He opened his eyes and sat up.

**"Who's here?"** Barret called out, now seeing a silhouette of someone approaching him…

…with a knife.

"**What the #$&# is this??! Answer me or else!!!"** Barret warned whoever was approaching him.

The silhouette stopped and raised the knife above its head, seemingly ready to strike Barret.

Suddenly, the lights flicked on.

"**Yuffie?!?!"** Barret said angrily as he was face-to-face with Yuffie, who was wearing headphones while holding a cake in one hand and a knife in the other.

"**Wanna slice of cake?"** Yuffie asked Barret, taking off her headphones.

"**No! I'm tryin' to sleep! Now go away!"** Barret told her, with Yuffie swiftly leaving the room, turning out the light along the way.

Barret lied back down, only to sense the presence of someone approaching him again.

"**I thought I said go away, Yuffie!"** Barret called out, sitting up and turning on the light himself.

"**YOU?!?!?"** Barret yelled, as he was now face to face with the ghost of the Burger King Mascot, who was holding a Louisville Slugger. **"I THOUGHT WE ZAPPED YOUR SPIRIT ASS LAST WEEK!" **Barret wailed, jumping out of bed and hitting the floor with a thud.

Barret, having not his gun attached to his arms nor anything in the small empty bedroom to fight back with, could only do one thing: Make a break for the door.

**Meanwhile, Cloud's Point of View**

Meanwhile in the apartment's master bedroom, Cloud ands Tifa were sleeping soundly with each other.

Suddenly, a strange…but eerily familiar chant jarred Cloud awake.

_**Estuans interius ira vehementi… **_

_**Estuans interius ira vehementi…**_

**"What the…?"** Cloud said, reaching over to turn on the lamp next to his bed.

"**SEPHIROTH!!!"**said Sephiroth himself, standing in front of Cloud about to slice him with his Masamune

**"Oh no…"** Cloud said, jumping out of his bed like the speed of light, barely dodging Sephiroth's first attack, which sliced his bed in half. Tifa kept sleeping as if nothing was happening. 

_"I need my Buster Sword!"_ Cloud said to himself as he darted out of his room.

**In The Hallway…**

**CRASH!!!**

Both Barret and Cloud collide into each other as they both fled from their rooms simultaneously, knocking each other into the ground. Both men regain their composure and stand up.

"**WHAT'S GOING ON?!"** both men yell at each other in distress.

"**THAT DAMN GHOST OF THE BURGER KING BITCH IS BACK!!!"** Barret wailed in disbelief.

"**SEPHIROTH JUST ATTACKED ME IN MY BEDROOM!!!"** Cloud exclaimed.

Both men stop and stare at each other.

"**WHAT?!?!"** both Cloud and Barret shout simultaneously.

**"It's true,"** said a voice from behind both of them. Both Cloud and Barret turn around to face Sephiroth and The Burger King Mascot standing before them.

"**Will someone explain to me what the #&!# is going on here?!?!"** Barret demanded.

"**It's simple, really. After you guys played 'Ghostbusters' and captured the spirit of the Burger King Mascot last week, I simply released him as soon as you guys left the apartment," **Sephiroth explained.

The ever-silent Burger King Mascot held up a sign in front of him that read: _**"Our shared hatred of you two and your friends couldn't make for a better team. We are an unstoppable force."**_

"**Son of a bitch!!! Will this turmoil ever end?!?!"** Barret said both frustrated and worried.

"**What now? We have no weapons,"** Cloud said to Barret.

"**You still have us!!!"** called a voice from behind them.

All four guys turned around to see that Cid, Vincent, Tifa, Red XIII, Yuffie, and Cait Sith standing before them, all of them (with the exception of Tifa) wielding some sort of weapon they found lying around.

"**You won't be hurting anybody!"** Yuffie said, gripping a tennis racket.

"**I was woken up from all of the yelling. You will pay for this,"** Vincent said, holding a lead pipe.

"**Time to take out the mother-$#! trash,"** Cid said, twirling around a metal chain.

"**Yeah! Time to kick butt!"** Cait Sith said, holding a spork in his paw.

"**I'll tear you two to shreds,"** Red XIII said, showing them his sharp teeth.

"**I'll clobber you if you dare lay a finger on my Cloud!"** Tifa said, cracking her knuckles.

"**Well well, quite a party we have here. Let's crash it,"** Sephiroth said, the Burger King Mascot nodding in agreement.

Cloud and Barret dove out of the way as their friends and the bad guys began to fight each other.

"**Cloud, Barret!!! Go and retrieve your weapons, we'll hold these two off!!!" **Tifa ordered.

"**Right!"** both men said as they fled from the apartment as fast as they could.

**Outside The Apartment**

Both Barret and Cloud race down the dark, empty street to go retrieve their personal weapons.

"**This is absurd! Both of our archenemies teaming up like this? What's the world coming too?"** Cloud said.

"**I don't know…but this shit has got to stop!"** Barret responded.

Both men suddenly stop and look at each other.

"**I just thought of something…"** Cloud started. **"My sword is in storage along with my other belongings, and your gun-arm…how is that going to defeat the Burger King ghost?"** Cloud asked.

"**Oh snaps, you're right!!!"** Barret said. **"Shit, what now?!"**

"**Maybe I can help…"** said a female voice from behind them.

Both men turn around and witness Aeries, a spirit as well, appear before them.

"**Hi guys!"** Aeris said to the two, smiling.

"**Aeris! Long time no see! How's the Lifestream treating ya?"** Barret asked.

**"It's an okay place…still kinda miss living in the real world,"** she said. **"I've come to give you two a gift,"** she continued.

Both men smile with new confidence as Aeris presents Cloud with his Buster Sword, and a special gun-attachment for Barret that can harm vengeful spirits.

"**You're the best, Aeris,"** Cloud said to her.

"**Good luck you two. Kick some butt for me!" **Aeris said, before fading away from existence.

Both men nod to each other and head back to the apartment.

**Back Inside The Apartment**

By the time Cloud and Barret returned to the apartment, all of their buddies were defeated by the diabolical duo.

"**Oh, so you're back. You're friends proved to be no challenge at all,"** Sephiroth said as Cloud and Barret rush back inside.

The Burger King Mascot gave them a thumbs down in addition to Sephiroth's comment.

**"Prepare to die, burger bastard!!!"** Barret said as he began firing his spirit gun at the mascot.

**"You're finished!"** Cloud said as he performed a Limit Break on Sephiroth.

"**What?! How did you get those weapons?!"** Sephiroth exclaimed, while the Burger King Mascot held up a sign that said _**'Uh oh…'.**_

The rest was history.

**The Next Morning**

The next morning, everyone woke up around noon feeling groggy and beat-up from last night's events. Everyone met in the kitchen to discuss last night's events.

"**You two seem to be okay…did you two manage to defeat Sephiroth and that Burger King Mascot?"** Tifa asked, rubbing her sore fists.

"**Yeah, we had help from an old friend in the battle to defeat those two bitches,"** Barret said with a proud grin.

"**Indeed. Without her help, we would have been toast,"** Cloud added.

"**So are those two really gone for good, or did they get away?"** Red XIII asked.

"**They got away, but I think it'll be a while before they return,"** Cloud said.

"**Ya know, with all of us fighting together, I guess I have no need to be afraid of that damn ghost or any other crazy-ass person he teams up with,"** Barret said.

"**Damn straight! We can beat anyone if we just stick together!"** Cid commented.

Cloud and Barret stood and faced their friends.

"**Whatever may come our way, we'll tackle things together, always!"** Cloud says.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"**We'll be ready next time…"** Barret said.

* * *

**The End?**

**That does it for this installment! Please review!**

If you haven't read the previous stories to this series, please check them out, I promise you'll get a good kick out of them:

**Part 1**: Barret vs The Burger King Guy: First Bout  
**Part 2**: Barret vs The Burger King Guy: Second Bout  
**Part 3**: Barret vs The Burger King Guy: Final Bout  
**Part 4**: The FF7 Crew Vs The Burger King Guy: Ghost Bout


End file.
